October 2012: A Roller Coaster I'd Like to Never Get on Again

October 2012 is one of those months in life you wish you could skip...or know what was ahead so could change the outcome.  Things were shakey at work for me & it became clear that I was being pushed out of my job after attempting to live through this department take over by another rehab company.  Then on Thursday, October 11th it happened.  I was called & asked not to show up at work the next day because there were no patients for me to see.  Hmmm...funny that there were no patients for ME to see at MY job!  Sparing the details which seem so insignificant in light of what was to come one week later, I knew it was time to clean out my office after 3 years at Villa Scalabrini & move on.  And so, reluctantly & with a very heavy heart I did just that.

Exactly one week later, we lost a dear friend in a tragic accident.  I'll never forget my FB status update that morning..."Today will be a great day! Home Health patients, interview, and weekly cousin time! This already feels much better than the events of last week!"  Then during my 1st home health visit of the day, my cell phone began ringing off the hook.  I looked the first time & it was a recruiter (I was getting a lot of those calls due to my job hunting efforts).  I ignored the rest of the calls & when I walked out the front door I saw that I had several missed calls from a variety of friends.  My heart sunk & I knew something was wrong but nothing could have prepared me for what I was about to learn...
If anyone had told me that 6 months after I take this picture one of our friends would be dead, I might have slapped them for saying something so stupid!

But, it's true.  Mike (3rd from the left) was struck by a taxi early morning Thursday, October 18th and was killed.  Everyday I look at recent picturs, the newspaper clippings on my refridgerator, his mass card in the visor of my car & the "thank you" we received with his picture on it for attending his wake & it still feels too impossible to be true.  Mike was the kind of guy you wanted to be around.  He was happy, outgoing, always smiling & if ever in a bad mood, rarely showed it.  He was genuine & honest and these are not just words you say about someone when they've passed away...every word is true.  He had the most contagious laugh & a larger than life kind of presence.  He had a huge smile, a twinkle in his eye & gave a hug like he meant it.  When he asked how you were doing or how your family was, he really did want to know!  He was generous & devoted to his family.  He was also dedicated to his work & to all of us.  He had a passion for giving & on his own donated toys to Misericordia at Christmas time.  It's times like these that shake your world & force you to ask why God, this great entitiy, would so selfishly take away someone so good so early in life leaving his mom & siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles & all his close friends to mourn.  All we can do is keep sharing our memories, looking at our pictures, telling our stories & honoring our dear friend whenever we can.

So, I lost my job, I lost my friend & 3 hours after hearing this horrific news I am scheduled for an interview at a job, literally, 5 minutes from home that I REALLY wanted!  It didn't seem like I could find a time that would be "better" at this point so I drove to the interview & tried to deep breath & calm myself but the more I thought about why I had to calm myself & get myself together, the more tears kept streaming down my face.  I finally entered the building.  I was there for an hour & a half following around a very talkative potential "boss."  At one point he started talking about "having a bad day" & "leaving it at the door."  I had to change the subject because he had no idea what a day I was having so I thought I must have done a good job "leaving it at the door!"  Most of the inerview was a blur & when I spoke, words came out but I have no idea what I said.  I said thank you, I left, I got in my car & sobbed.  I didn't care if I got the job or not at that moment.

The next day, I was unofficially offered the SLP position with Genesis Rehab Services at Autum Green of Wright Campus!  I was shocked & didn't feel much like celebrating.  It seemed so insignificant at that moment, but looking back, it must have been a divine intervention by my newest angel!  Bottom line was that my family & I needed this job & no matter how insignificant it was in light of everything else, I NEEDED this job!

The days following the news only got harder as we had to gather to say good bye. We saw so many faces that we hadn't in some time now that all of us have "grown up" and are busy with families of our own. But, I have to say, there was comfort in those old faces, warmth in their embraces & a fulfillment that really couldn't be explained.
On Sunday, October 21st Mike was being waked. It was also the day were were baptizing our Nora. In fact, the last email Mike & I had exchanged was in regard to the event & to tell me that he would be there. It seemed impossible to have a baptism & a wake on the very same day. In death there is life...but it isn't supposed to be the death of a young person. Anyway, because of logistics we were unable to reschedule Nora's baptism for a less somber time in a reasonable time frame. So, we went ahead with the baptism but cancelled the luncheon we had planned to host at our home that afternoon. Instead we had to see our friend for the last time.  The wake, the funeral...all surreal.  It was physically painful to stand with my friends as we held each other & said a final prayer over Mike.  It's a moment I will never forget for the rest of my life.  I can only hope & pray that the next time we have to do that we are all so old that we can't hold each other because we are too busy holding onto our own walker's for balance!  Even then it'll suck.

The end of the month brought the fun of Halloween for the kids.  We had a Wolverine, a "bad" witch, a spider who then chose to be a tiger & a flower haunting it up!  Annually, we spend halloween at my parent's house where there are literally 100's of trick or treater's...and I'm not exaggerating...835 goblins to be exact!  It's insane but very fun for the kids & my parent's favorite holiday.  They really get into it & by far have the spookiest house on the block! 

**To honor our friend there is a toy drive being held to collect toys for children & toiletries, coats, & winter weather gear for adults to be donated to Misericordia in Mike's name. Should anyone be interested in making a donation see below for more information or feel free to contact me & we can make arrangements to get the items.  Thank you.
https://www.facebook.com/events/448922695164454/

Good-bye October 2012...you were a roller coaster and I'd like to get off now...